Meditation Skill 01

Intentional relaxation of effort and tuning into how nice it feels to relax will train your mind to let go of the world around you and rest deeply within your body. Gentle diaphragmatic (belly) breathing is a natural doorway to developing deep physical and mental relaxation that will lower your experience of stress and increase your body awareness throughout the day.

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• Set a countdown timer on your phone (set to DND) and place it behind you. 
• Meditation Length: Meditate for 20 min, gradually increasing to 30 min.
• Benefits: This Meditation Skill will teach you how to lower your experience of stress & restlessness in your daily life and help you feel more relaxed in your body throughout the day.
• Attention & Awareness: Be aware in the foreground of the flow of sound, the touch of clothing on your body and your body as it relaxes while keeping a background, peripheral awareness of the growing feeling of comfort and ease throughout your body.
• Progression: You feel comfortable in your body during your meditation and no longer experience physical restlessness or the desire to move around during your session.

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Meditation Instructions:

When joined, these five steps create the complete meditation for Skill 01: Body Relaxation. Learn each step individually and then, when comfortable, combine them all together. For insight, be curious about how to calm restlessness and enjoy how nice it feels to relax your body.

1. Preparation: Sit for meditation, reflecting gratefully to sweeten your mind, then allow your eyelids to gently close by relaxing them.
2. Mindfulness: To develop mindfulness, listen to the flow and change of sound around you, allowing it to come and go > Once you feel more settled, include the experience of your clothing touching your body. Allow the simple experience of distant sounds, and the touch of your clothing, to hold your attention.
3. Belly Breaths: Once you feel present, place your palms below your belly button to feel the breathing movement, and enjoy taking 5 slow in & out-breaths in your belly to help your body further relax.
4. Body Breaths: Take 5 more slow breaths starting in your belly and filling your chest, allowing your whole body to relax with each out-breath.
5. Enjoy Relaxing: As relaxation grows, allow your breathing to flow by itself for the rest of the meditation, and enjoy the feeling of relaxation and comfort in your body. 
6. Insight: To develop insight, take interest in any feelings of restlessness or the desire to move your body around. Playfully, learn how to settle these feelings of restlessness by using slow belly breaths, as learnt above, to develop comfort in your body.

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Note on Anxiety: If you are currently experiencing anxiety, your ability to experience the subtle pleasantness of relaxing and letting go may not be easy for your mind to access. In this case, I recommend first retraining your stress breathing patterns by following these instructions: 

Meditation for Anxiety.  

Intentional relaxation of effort and tuning into how nice it feels to relax will train your mind to let go of the world around you and rest deeply within your body. Gentle diaphragmatic (belly) breathing is a natural doorway to developing deep physical and mental relaxation that will lower your experience of stress and increase your body awareness throughout the day.

Tip: In Steps 1 - 5 you will be introduced to four progressive meditation objects: gratitude → sound → touch of clothing → relaxation of your body. The human mind has the ability to be aware of many experiences in one field of awareness. As you introduce each of the above experiences,  continue to be aware of the experiences before it. Being grateful for each. Like carefully adding a weave to a tapestry or colouring in a canvas to form one picture of experience. This will increase your mindfulness, clarity and calm thinking about the past and future, by helping your mind to be present, here and now.

Step 1: Preparation.

Sitting comfortably and reflecting gratefully brings your focus toward your meditation.

• Sit in Meditation: Find a comfortable place to sit on a chair or the floor for meditation that is secluded from disturbance for this short time. This may be a quiet room, garden or sitting in your car.
• Reflect Gratefully: Begin your meditation by sweetening your mind with reflections on simple things in your life for which you can be grateful, including this opportunity to meditate, then allow your eyelids gently close, relaxed. Notice how gratitude helps you become more present.

Step 2: Mindfulness.

Begin your meditation by taking your time be mindful of these two things one after the other..

• Flow of Sound: To develop mindfulness, spend a few minutes listening to the flow of sounds around you. Let the flow and change of sound hold your attention. 
• Clothing on Your Body: Once you feel settled, include the experience of your clothing resting on your body and air touching your skin. Allow this simple experience to hold your attention.

Step 3: Belly Breaths.

Once you feel mindful of sitting in meditation you can relax further with belly breaths.

• Place your palms below your belly button. Slowly extend the lower part of your belly away from your body and notice how the breath comes in through your nose.
• Slowly lower your belly and notice how the breath goes back through your nose. Play around with this belly-breathing movement, being careful not to overextend your belly or to try too hard. This is simply a way of reminding your body to relax.
• Observe the effect: After taking 10 breath cycles allow your breathing to happen naturally and see how your body feels over the next few minutes. Notice any changes in how your body feels such as your breathing becoming deeper and your body feeling more relaxed.

Step 4: Body Breaths.

Once you are comfortable with belly breathing, learn to breathe up into your whole body.

• Place your hands on your ribs and extend them out slightly to open your chest. Slowly from your belly up into your chest, filling your chest like a balloon. 
• Allow the breath slowly out and feel your body relax with the out-breath. The secret is to allow your body and rib cage to rest on your lungs as they inflate and deflate. This allows your body muscles to stretch and fully relax with each breath.
• Observe the effect: After taking 5 breath cycles, remove your palms and allow your breathing to happen naturally noticing any feeling of increased relaxation and comfort within your body.

Step 5: Enjoy Relaxing.

Your next step is to learn to enjoy the relaxed feeling of your body to allow it to grow.

• Relaxing your body with softening breaths can only take meditation so far. For relaxation to deepen you need to actively enjoy how pleasant it feels to relax.
• Once you have completed the previous steps, let go of any intentional control of your breathing and allow it to occur naturally for the rest of the meditation. Focus on the gentle stretch and relaxation of each in-breath and out-breath. 
• Take a moment to release extra effort in your shoulders, chest, and upper back by slowly letting them drop with each exhale. Allow the feeling of relaxation to flow through your arms, hands, legs, and feet and most importantly: enjoy the feeling of relaxation.
• Restlessness: If you feel any restlessness building in your body as the desire to move around, take a few more slow belly breaths and relax.

Step 6: Insight.

Once you are familiar with relaxing, you can now use it to develop insight.

• Insight into restlessness: Develop insight into restlessness by noticing any feelings of restlessness or the desire to move around, particularly when you begin your meditation or near the end. Playfully learn how to settle these feelings of restlessness using slow belly breaths as in Step 3. Understanding restlessness and how to calm it will teach you how to truly relax and let go, in all aspects of your life. 
• Insight into other hindrances: At this stage of meditation, your mind will wander to thoughts, become sleepy, or even forget that you are meditating. This is a normal part of meditating in daily life and should not be taken personally. These are simply mental habits we have developed throughout our life, and as your mind becomes familiar with how nice it is to relax and let go, all these things will settle down. During Meditation Skill 01, all you need to focus on at this time is learning to calm physical restlessness and to develop relaxation and comfort sitting in meditation. This is a foundation for Meditation Skill 02: Mind Relaxation.

Tip: Positivity is everything in insight meditation. Everything can improve in some way, even if it is just a little bit. It is little improvements accumulate into significant life changes. If you have a habit of feeling stressed, you can learn how to be a little less stressed. If you tense up in your body during the day, you can learn how to be a little more relaxed during the day, and so on. Each Meditation Skill in this course will offer you its own reward that will significantly transform your life. I encourage you to recognise and celebrate each one as you develop it. This will lead you in the right direction.

Progression in mindfulness of breathing can be accurately tracked by observing your ability to access the 12 Meditation Markers. This can be done by developing insight into their associated Meditative Hindrance and changing the conditions that support them.

Your first step in meditation is to develop Marker 01: Body Relaxation (right column) by calming the conditions that support Hindrance 01: Physical Restlessness (left column). Vipassana insight is developed by being curious about how to transform any Physical Restlessness present into the first Marker (sign) of samatha (calm), Body Relaxation.

Progression Map for Mindfulness of Breathing

Meditative Hindrances.                      Meditation Markers.

(Hindrances to calm).                         (Signs of deepening calm).

01: Physical Restlessness.      →    01: Body Relaxation.

02: Mental Restlessness.                  02: Mind Relaxation.

03: Sleepiness & Drifting.                  03: Mindful Presence.

04: Habitual Forgetting.                     04: Content Happiness.

05: Habitual Control.                          05: Natural Breathing.

06: Mind Wandering.                          06: Length of Each Breath.

07: Gross Dullness.                            07: Breath Sensations.

08: Subtle Dullness.                           08: One Point of Sensation.

09: Subtle Wandering.                       09: Sustained Attention.

10: Sensory Stimulation.                  10: Whole-Body Breathing.

11: Anticipation of Pleasure.           11: Sustained Awareness.

12: Fear of Letting Go.                      12: Access Concentration.

Physical Restlessness: While being physically restless will hinder your ability to relax and calm down during meditation in MIDL it is seen as an opportunity for vipassana insight into its anatta (autonomous) nature and the samatha (calm) available when it is understood. At this stage of meditation I recommend developing insight into any physical restlessness present by being curious about finding enjoyment in relaxing effort in your body with gentle breaths until feelings of physical restlessness disappear and a feeling of comfort grows within your body. 

Other Hindrances: It is important to note that although your focus is on settling the Hindrance of Physical Restlessness at this stage of meditation, all the other Hindrances listed above may also be present. It is essential to settle each Hindrance in the order presented in the above Map for Mindfulness of Breathing, as each Marker is the antidote for its associated Hindrance.

Progression: Once you can calm physical restlessness and feel comfortable sitting in meditation without the need to move around, you are ready to settle Hindrance 02: Mental Restlessness by developing Marker 02: Mind Relaxation.

There will be times during meditation when you find it difficult to feel comfortable and relaxed in your body. These difficulties, known as the 12 Meditative Hindrances, are viewed in MIDL as opportunities to develop understanding and insight into your mind and body. 

Below, we can see that in Meditation Skill 01, the first Meditative Hindrance that you develop insight into is feelings of physical restlessness in your body.

Meditative Hindrances.

01: Physical Restlessness.

02: Mental Restlessness.

03: Sleepiness & Drifting.

04: Habitual Forgetting.

05: Habitual Control.

06: Mind Wandering.

07: Gross Dullness.

08: Subtle Dullness.

09: Subtle Wandering.

10: Sensory Stimulation.

11: Anticipation of Pleasure.

12: Fear of Letting Go.

Meditative Hindrance: 

Physical Restlessness (01).

Unable to experience physical comfort.

Physical Restlessness refers to when you feel unsettled in your body and need to move around and fidget to get comfortable during meditation. It occurs during meditation due to energy build-up from stress/aversion or overstimulation in our daily lives. Simplifying your life and relaxing with slow, softening breaths will lower your experience of stress and anxiety and weaken your desire to distract yourself with sensory stimulation.

Antidote: Be curious about what it means to find enjoyment in relaxing your body with slow-gentle belly breaths. Retraining your breathing patterns with diaphragmatic breathing will aid in lowering your experience of stress and anxiety. It is also helpful to bring gratitude to your mind by reflecting on the small things you are grateful for. Include in this how fortunate you are to have this time to meditate and spend time with yourself.

Other Hindrances: When developing Marker 01: Body Relaxation, it is normal to experience mind wandering, becoming sleepy, or even forgetting that you are meditating. At this stage of the development of skill in relaxation and calm, your only concern is bringing relaxation to your body. When you notice that your mind has wandered or that you have forgotten that you are meditating, smile with your eyes to reward your mind and take a few belly breaths to bring mindful awareness back to your body.

If anxiety is present, I recommend retraining your breathing patterns following these instructions: Meditation for Anxiety. This technique lowers the experience of stress & anxiety, as well as making it easier to develop calm during meditation and feel it in daily life.

You are ready to progress to Meditation Skill 02: Mind Relaxation when:

• You feel comfortable & at ease in your body during your meditation and no longer experience physical restlessness or the desire to move around during your session.

Added Note: Your mind will wander, and you may feel sleepy during this stage of meditation. This is perfectly ok and a sign of successful relaxation. These are both signs of imbalances in your mind's energy and will be addressed as your meditation practice deepens. For now, take an interest in how your mind wandering and sleepiness happen by themself (anatta). 

Observing in this way will increase your mindfulness and begin to teach your mind to let these imbalances go. The most important part of this stage of meditation is that when you notice that your mind has wandered, you come back to being curious about how deeply you can relax your body.

• SoundCloud: Guided Meditation.
• Insight Timer: Guided Meditation.
• You Tube: Video Instructions.

Your first step in bringing insight meditation into your daily life is to create a foundation / reference point from which to develop insight. The foundation/reference point the Buddha recommended is kaya-gata sati: mindfulness immersed within your body.

The first step in immersing mindfulness in your body is to learn to relax your body, with clear comprehension of what it feels like to relax. The purpose of Meditation Skill 01 is to develop your skill of immersing awareness within your body through relaxing and letting go.

Meditative Hindrance.                        Meditation Marker.

01: Physical Restlessness.      →    01: Body Relaxation.

In Meditation Skill 01, you will learn four things that you can bring into your daily life:

1. To recognise physical restlessness.
2. To relax physical restlessness.
3. To appreciate how nice it feels to relax your body.
4. To notice that whenever you relax your body, with clear comprehension of it, that awareness of your body increases.

Once you are familiar with Meditation Skill 01, you can integrate it into your daily life. The key is to check in on how you feel throughout the day, starting with when you hop out of bed in the morning.

• How am I feeling now? 
• Am I holding more effort in my body than I need to?

If yes, take a few softening breaths to relax effort in your body, notice how nice it feels to relax, and then immerse yourself back into life. This simple act of taking a few softening breaths will withdraw your awareness from your intellectual mind and bring awareness into your body, therefore developing mindfulness of your body (grounding).

How to do it.

The key to being mindful of your body in daily life is not to try to be mindful of your body in daily life. 'Trying' will take you in the opposite direction, as your mind will see mindfulness as something else it has to do, with another problem to solve. 

It is important to make being mindful during the day something enjoyable for your mind to do rather than another job to complete. 

This is done by:

1. Enjoying noticing when you have forgotten to be mindful.
2. Taking a few breaths to relax your body when you notice.
3. Finding enjoyment in the relaxing breaths.
4. Clearly comprehending awareness returning to your body as you do.
5. Being satisfied with creating small gaps in mind wandering.

It's all about the gaps.

Being mindful in daily life is not about striving and straining to be mindful; it is about making being mindful a fun and enjoyable thing for your mind to do. By checking in every now and then throughout the day and softening/relaxing your body, you will create small gaps in the habitual patterns of your mind and body. With repetition, these gaps of habitual 'mindlessness' will gradually decrease, and your enjoyment of increased mindfulness will increase. Through enjoyment of how nice it feels to return to mindfulness, mindful awareness will begin to naturally rest in your body creating a place of safety for your mind from the stresses of daily life.

Stress throughout the day.

You can use the skills you have learnt in Meditation Skill 01 to gradually weaken your experience of stress throughout your day by re-engaging your diaphragm muscle in respiration whenever you notice you are feeling stressed. More information can be found in this section of the MIDL Insight Meditation website: Meditation for Anxiety: Reengage Your Diaphragm.

Restlessness is a natural part of the process of relaxing during meditation, and understanding it leads to being able to access deeper relaxation and calm.

I suspect that the feelings of restlessness are coming from either trying to hard when you are taking softening breaths or discontentment that develops because you have increased your meditation time. It is important to lower the amount of energy being put into your meditation as the restlessness feeds on this.

There is no need to take softening breaths for every thought that comes up in your meditation, rather just to let go of thoughts when they distract you from your meditation. If the restlessness comes later during your meditation, it is probably because your mind has lost interest in it at some stage and become discontent.

Shorten your meditation to 10 minutes to test this then gradually lengthen your meditation time again with the emphasis on finding enjoyment in the rest and relaxation of your meditation, particularly how nice your meditation feels from the very beginning of your meditation.

Detailed Understanding of Restlessness.

It is helpful to think of insight meditation as having three parts:

1. Development of relaxation & calm.
2. Development of insight & understanding.
3. Development of morality & harmony.

These three parts unfold during meditation in a circle: 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3 etc.

As you develop relaxation in meditation (1) you will begin to become more sensitive to restlessness. When we feel restless this is a sign that there is too much energy in mind & body. (Too little energy leads to sleepiness and dullness). Restlessness is an opportunity to deepen our meditation by being curious (2) about what it is that has stirred up so much energy. 

Have I had a busy day? Am I trying too hard to meditate? Due to meditating for longer have I become discontent with my meditation?

The trick with restlessness is to low your energy levels by lowering your effort. This means be gentler and doing less in your meditation, even stopping the breathing, and allowing the high energy levels to settle down. Think of this as paddling a boat, when the boat is moving you no longer need to ad energy by paddling until it slows down.

When restlessness comes up it is important to stop trying to settle your thoughts down but instead allow them to run around in the same way that you would allow a puppy to run wild to burn off energy. As the energy of your mind settles the energy in your body will also settle. While the feeling of restlessness is antsy and a bit uncomfortable, it is helpful to understand that it cannot hurt you. Being aware of it gently with kindness and allowing it to burn up its own energy is the key.

The morality section (3) is how we live our life. Our mind cannot separate how we are living our life and what our mind is consuming during the day, from the meditation session. If everything has been stirred up during the day by scrolling and consuming negativity, or what we have done during the day, then this will bubble up during our meditation.

Living a simple, harmonious life naturally creates the conditions for relaxation and calm. With work or children this busyness and overstimulation is unavoidable, and it is important to see our period of relaxation during meditation as an opportunity to allow everything to bubble up, without reacting to it. This in itself, just being with what comes up, allowing the high energy levels to settle down is both healing and cleansing in itself.

Categories of Restlessness:

Feelings of restlessness are part of meditation and can occur during meditation because of four things:

Stress: We had a stressful, busy and overstimulated day. This restless will come up at the beginning of our meditation and will gradually settle as we become more relaxed and the energy in our body and mind begins to settle down. Taking a few slow belly breaths is helpful for settling this type of restlessness.

Effort: When we put too much effort into belly breaths or trying to relax, we can inadvertently raise the energy levels in our body and mind and become restless at any time during the meditation. This is one of the normal learning curves in meditation. We get some success relaxing, feel nice, and then in our following meditations we try to relax to get back to what we felt before.

Be playful with this and always be curious about how little effort you can put into the softening belly breaths and relaxing without falling asleep. If you find you are over-breathing with your softening breaths, then stop controlling your breathing and allow the restlessness to run its course and burn up its own energy (tip: it can't hurt you) and then notice how the feeling of restlessness gradually settles down. This is a sign you were using too much effort.

Relaxation: Strangely feelings of restlessness can be a sign that you are successfully relaxing. As we relax there are borders of relaxation that we naturally hit where our mind starts to feel a bit out of control and our body and mind tighten up. This is a sign of fear of letting go of control. When this happens, we experience relaxation in the first part of the meditation but start to feel stuck in the second part, particularly when our meditation becomes longer. The way through is to find enjoyment in the earlier part of our meditation, how nice it feels, and to do nothing in the second part.

Aversion, anxiety & Trauma: Many of the experiences associated with anxiety and trauma are experienced in our body. When we relax and the relaxation deepens, many experiences that we are avoiding in daily life can start to come to the surface. This can develop an aversion in our mind that creates restlessness that takes a while to settle down due to our mind's aversion feeding back into the cycle.

When using meditation as part of the healing process it is helpful to practice meditation laying down on a mat or blanket on the floor. This allows us to fully relax, more so than sitting upright. Again, it is healing to be with the restlessness or whatever comes up, if we are comfortable to do so, by taking a few slow belly breaths then doing nothing at all. To teach ourselves to do this we can begin with shorter periods of laying meditation and gradually increase it.

There is a section on this on the MIDL website: https://midlmeditation.com/meditation-for-anxiety