How to Meditate for Calm
An 14-day introduction to relaxation and calm for new meditators.
14-Day Introductory Meditation Course.
How to Meditate for Calm.
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Next: Skill 00: Stress Breathing → Diaphragmatic Breathing.
Introduction.
Have you ever felt stressed while multitasking with the children, in the workplace, or while visiting family? This feeling of stress signals that your mind is trying to process more information than it can handle. While it is tempting to keep adding more busyness to our lives, we need time to be with ourselves and relax.
In this 14-day meditation course, I will share simple techniques for physical, mental, and emotional relaxation. I understand that we can become time-poor with family and work, but it doesn't take much time to relax and experience the benefits; we need to understand how to use our short time efficiently.
In this course, we will begin with a 5-minute guided meditation. Think of it as micro-dosing relaxation and calm during your day. Short bursts of relaxation and calm are life-changing, as we gradually desensitise our stress reactions and build a natural tendency within our body and mind toward relaxation and calm.
Relaxation and calm are integral to the rest-digest response and our natural, unstressed state. Let's share this journey toward relaxation and calm, one step at a time, starting with 5 minutes. This creates a gap in your stress response that will change your whole outlook on life, as it did mine.
With kindness,
Stephen Procter.
Meditation Course: How to Meditate for Calm.
This introductory meditation course has been designed to help you learn MIDL calming techniques to lower stress in your daily life and to help you develop a daily meditation routine that will change your life, as it did mine.
When lying down to meditate, support your body with a yoga mat or blanket on the floor. Bend your knees and place a bolster or rolled blanket under them to protect your lower back. An advantage of your whole body supported by this hard surface is that you can fully allow your muscles to relax. Slightly bend your knees and place a bolster or rolled blanket under them to protect your back.
To keep alert (so you don't fall asleep), place your arms by your sides with palms facing upwards. If you have back or neck issues, try lying on your side for meditation. My Tip: You can even use a seat in your car that is reclined back, as it also gives peace and quiet from family and work. If there is no other option, you can lie on a bed for meditation, but there is a higher risk of falling asleep. To prevent this, prop your body upright by placing pillows behind your back and head. A rolled blanket under your knees will protect your lower back.
Find a place for meditation where you can be with yourself for a short time without any distractions. This may be a corner of your room, outside in the sunshine, or even in your car with the seat reclining back.
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Guided Meditation:
- SoundCloud: Diaphragmatic Breathing (5min).
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Commit to spending this time each day to improve peace of mind.*
*It is about the quality of the time you spend in meditation and your commitment to it, rather than the quantity of time, how long you meditate for, that is important at this stage for creating a healthy habit of daily meditation.
Set a countdown timer on your phone (set to DND: Do Not Disturb) and commit to meditating for 5 minutes.
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How to Relax with Breathing.
During this meditation, we are using gentle diaphragmatic breaths to develop calm. To learn to breathe with your diaphragm, it is helpful to think of the movement of your lower belly as being like a pump for breathing. As you move the lower part of your belly outwards, away from your body, air will naturally come in through your nose. As you slowly lower your belly again, air will naturally go back out through your nose. Using your belly as a pump will allow you to gradually reduce your breathing rate and develop an experience of calm.
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Meditation Instructions.
Meditating on a yoga mat on the floor allows you to relax deeply without falling asleep. Use a comfortable reclining chair or bed if you are uncomfortable on the floor. I recommend having three props for your meditation: a yoga mat or blanket, an optional pillow for your head, and a rolled-up blanket under your knees.
- Step 1: Lie down for meditation with your palms resting below your belly button so you can feel your breathing.
- Step 2: Begin by slowly raising your lower belly up to lift your palms and slowly lowering your belly back to lower your palms. Take five breath cycles in this way.
- Step 3: Once you are comfortable, slow down the belly movement to regulate your breathing rate. When you find the right speed and effort, it will have a nice, calming effect. Take five slow in-and-out breaths to increase your feeling of calm.
- Step 4: After five breath cycles, allow your breathing to return to its natural rhythm. Enjoy the relaxation these belly breaths create for the rest of your meditation.
During Days 4-5, your meditation remains the same, except you commit to 10 minutes and have a longer time to enjoy the relaxation that comes from this gentle breathing.
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Guided Meditation:
- SoundCloud: Diaphragmatic Breathing (10min).
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Set a timer on your phone and start by committing to meditating for 10 min.
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- Enjoy the feeling of relaxation.
During Days 6-7, your meditation remains the same, except you now lengthen your out-breath to increase the calm that comes from this gentle breathing.
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Guided Meditation:
- SoundCloud: Diaphragmatic Breathing (10min).
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Set a timer on your phone and start by committing to meditating for 10 min.
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These steps remain the same as Days 4-5:
- Step 1: Lie down for meditation with your palms resting below your belly button so you can feel your breathing.
- Step 2: Begin by slowly raising your lower belly to lift your palms and slowly lowering your belly back to lower your palms. Take five breath cycles this way, as in Days 1-4.
Days 6-7: Insert this extra step:
- Step 3: Taking 5 more in-and-out breath cycles, slightly slow down each out-breath by counting to 3 in line with each in-breath and to 5 in line with each out-breath until you feel the calming effect**.
- Step 4: Allow your breathing to happen by itself now, simply lying still and enjoying the increased feeling of calm for the rest of your meditation.
**Note: If slowing down your breathing to 5 seconds on each out-breath causes strain, lower this to a count of 4 or 3. There is no magic number here. The important part is that it feels comfortable and has a calming effect.
During Days 8-10, your meditation remains the same, except this time, you commit to 15 minutes. This gives you time to use the quiet period at the end of your meditation to develop insight into mind wandering and skill in returning to relaxation and calm when you notice it.
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Guided Meditation:
- SoundCloud: Diaphragmatic Breathing (15min).
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Set a timer on your phone, committing to meditating for 15 min.
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Your meditation remains the same as Days 6-7, except you increase your meditation time by 5 minutes so that you have an opportunity to develop your skill in being mindful when your mind wanders and returning to relaxation and calm when you notice it wandering.
After calming with your gentle breathing:
Whenever you notice your mind has wandered:
- Towards a sound.
- Towards thinking.
- Or that you are restless.
Take three slow breaths in your belly, just as you did in your previous meditations, to help you relax and become more present in your body. Just here, now. It will make you feel more present, calm your mind's wandering, and strengthen your mindfulness.
During Days 11-14, your meditation remains the same, except this time you commit to 20 minutes, adding the step of taking full breaths into your chest. This helps change stress breathing patterns, allowing your body to rest in a relaxed state throughout the day naturally.
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Guided Meditation:
- SoundCloud: Diaphragmatic Breathing (20min).
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Set a timer on your phone, committing to meditating for 20 min.
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These steps remain the same as Days 8-10:
- Step 1: Lie down for meditation with your palms resting below your belly button so you can feel your breathing.
- Step 2: Begin by slowly raising your lower belly to lift your palms and slowly lowering your belly back to lower your palms. Take five breath cycles this way, as in Days 1-4.
- Step 3: Taking 5 more in-and-out breath cycles, slightly slow down each out-breath by counting to 3 in line with each in-breath and to 5 in line with each out-breath until you feel the calming effect.
Days 11-14: Insert this extra step:
- Step 4: Once you have done 10 repetitions of breathing with your abdomen, the next stage is to learn to breathe from your lower belly up into your chest.
How to do it:
- Bring one palm to the top of your chest, leave the other below your belly button.
- Slowly breathe in from your belly button, extending your ribs out slightly and allow the breath to move up into your chest, filling it like a balloon. This may take some coordination at first. Be careful of overthinking it and instead feel it. You can refer to the instruction video if unsure.
- At the end of the breath, allow your whole body to relax with a slow out-breath.
- Repeat 10 times with slow, gentle breaths, free from strain.
- Step 5: Allow your breathing to happen by itself now, simply lying still and enjoying the increased feeling of calm for the rest of your meditation.
You have done well to have reached this stage in your meditation and are no longer a beginner meditator. Your meditation skills developed on Days 11-14 and are equal to the first Meditation Skill in the MIDL Insight Meditation Course: Meditation Skill 00: Stress Breathing → Diaphragmatic Breathing.
You can continue meditation as you have over the last two weeks to lower stress and develop a daily meditation habit. This meditation is life-transforming. Or you can move on to the next meditation, which is practised sitting upright, to learn how to soften your body and mind to let go of things in daily life.
I encourage you to continue your daily meditation beyond these introductory meditations. If you miss a day of meditation, it does not matter. Brush the dust off your meditation mat and start again.
And experience the benefits.
After practising this simple but effective meditation, you may like to explore meditation further by following the complete insight meditation course on this website. You are now a more experienced meditator.
After finishing this two-week course in calm, you can continue to deepen your meditation by starting Meditation Skill 01: Physical Restlessness → Body Relaxation, where you will learn to relax feelings of physical restlessness and turn them into relaxation and comfort in your body.