GOSS: How to Let Go

Meditation always begins by developing a grounding or reference point from which you can develop both calm & insight.

Below is a simple instruction of how the GOSS Formula does this. 

GOSS Formula: How to Let Go.

1. Ground.
2. Observe.
3. Soften.
4. Smile.
5. Repeat if needed.

Ground = develop mindfulness of your body to create a reference point to the present.

Observe = notice whenever you become distracted from this reference point.

Soften = relax effort in your body and mind to let go of the distraction.

Smile = enjoy how nice it feels to relax/let go of effort to reward your mind.

As you soften & let go, while enjoying it, your awareness will naturally return and rest (ground) in your body again. GOSS is a circular process of developing insight into letting go & experiencing enjoyment in it to reward your mind for letting go. This process of insight + pleasure reward will gradually decondition unwholesome & unskillful habitual patterns from your mind.

Developing the GOSS Formula:

In the first four Meditation Skills in this course, you will learn how to let go by following the GOSS Formula in seated meditation and daily life.

• In Meditation Skill 01 & 02, you will learn how to relax physically and mentally to withdraw awareness from your intellectual mind and immerse it within your body. This relates to the Soften part of the GOSS Formula: Ground --> Observe --> Soften --> Smile.
• In Meditation Skill 03, you will learn how to be mindful of your body so that your awareness becomes mindfully present (grounded) within it. From the foundation of Mindful Presence of your body, you will become sensitive to whenever your mind habitually wanders, allowing you to develop insight into anatta (autonomous nature).This relates to the Ground & Observe part of the GOSS Formula: Ground --> Observe --> Soften --> Smile.
• In Meditation Skill 04, you will learn how to reward your mind by finding enjoyment in relaxing and let go of distraction, becoming Mindfully Present in your body again. This relates to the Smile part of the GOSS Formula: Ground --> Observe --> Soften --> Smile.

You will than have all the tools you need to train the focus of your attention and to weaken hindrances such as habitually forgetting, thinking and wandering of your mind.

The word Ground aligns with the first Awakening Factor: Mindfulness, and refers to when you are mindfully aware of your body in seated meditation or daily life. It is called being Grounded because when you are mindfully aware of the experience of your body you have a reference point to your present experience. 

Having a reference point to your present experience (being grounded in the present) is an advantage when training your mind in the skill of both calm and insight. Since the mind is capable focussing on realities based in the past, present, and future (thinking, fantasies etc.), and your body's experience is always here and now, being mindful of your body's experience will grounds your awareness in the present.

Lets practice this meditation exercise:

Read and remember these simple instructions.

1. Sit comfortably and close your eyes.
2. Place your hands in your lap and touch your thumbs lightly together.
3. Become aware of:

• the warmth of your hands. 
• the pressure of your hands.
• The touch of your thumbs.

During your meditation, notice how the simple act of being aware of these experiences keeps your mind present and creates a temporarily gap in thinking, planning, remembering, etc. 

The word Observe aligns with developing the second Awakening Factor: Curiosity and refers to being curious about developing calm and noticing whenever your attention wanders from being mindfully aware of your body.

Seeing the Autonomous Nature.

It happened by itself! By observing your mind's wanderings and your relationship to when your mind wanders, you will begin to see the anatta (autonomous nature) of mind wandering. Observing how many of the natural functions of your mind are anatta (autonomous) will teach your mind to let them go. Letting go of identification and control of these experiences develops freedom in heart and mind that is experienced as contentment and and ever deepening sense of calm in all aspects of life.

Observing when Your Mind Wanders is Passive.

Strangely enough, noticing that your mind has wandered during meditation is also passive. At some stage in meditation you will begin to realise that your mind wandered by itself. You will also begin to realise that you didn't notice that your mind had wandered, what happened is that your mind, because of your training in meditation, remembered to return to mindfulness, by itself. Whenever you notice that you have been lost within a thought or fantasy, mindfulness this noticing happens by itself.

 Literally, if your mind finds enjoyment in mindfulness it will remember to return to mindfulness by itself. This is why it is so important to be happy when you notice that you have been lost in your mind during your meditation. Being happy about noticing the returning of mindfulness, rewards the mind for being mindful again.

You can observe habitual wanderings of your mind when you notice:

1. That you have been distracted by thoughts or memories.
2. That you have been distracted by a sound or music.
3. That you have been distracted by an itch or pain in your body.
4. That you have been distracted by a reaction within your body.
5. When you notice how your mindfulness comes & goes by itself.

What is most important is not where your mind wandered to, but rather being happy about noticing that your mind had wandered and that the wandering itself happened by itself. This is a strange yet freeing insight into anatta.

The word Soften aligns with developing the third Awakening Factor: Balanced Effort and refers to noticing held effort within your mind & body due to attraction or aversion, and gently relaxing that effort while finding enjoyment in letting go. There is a subtle pleasant feeling that comes from enjoying how nice it feels to let go. This is so important because it is the enjoyment of this pleasant feeling found within letting go that rewards your mind for letting go. By learning to access the subtle pleasant feeling associated with letting go, and enjoying it, you will weaken any underlying tendencies within your mind of attraction or aversion.

Finding your reset button.

You can consider softening and relaxing effort within your mind as a reset button because it relaxes the mental grip of the focus of your mind's attention. It is important to understand that habitual patterns within your mind are self-sustaining. Literally, your mind practices itself every day, practicing different aspects of your personality every day. 

Softening & relaxing effort is active.

While being mindful of your body (ground) and noticing when your attention wanders (observe) is passive, softening the effort that supports that wandering is active and something that you do. As an added bonus, as you soften, relax and let go, you will become very aware and mindful of your body again (grounded), starting the GOSS Formula from the beginning again.

Softening effort does two things:

1. It creates a gap in your mind's ability to practice habit.
2. It rewards your mind with the subtle pleasantness found in the enjoyment of letting go.

Softening the grip of your mind's focus on a particular feeling, thought, emotion etc. creates a temporary gap in the habitual cycle. Inclining your mind toward the pleasantness of the enjoyment of letting go, will increase the gap in the habitual pattern while at the same time rewarding your mind for letting it go.

The word Smile aligns with the fourth Awakening Factor: Meditative Joy and refers to smiling with your eyes into the subtle pleasant feeling of letting go to create a feedback loop of enjoyment. The enjoyment of subtle pleasure of letting go is always available whenever you relax effort within your body & mind.

Reward your mind with the subtle pleasantness present of letting go.

To reward your mind for letting go, gently smile with your eyes into how nice it feels to relax and let go, enjoying this subtle pleasant feeling and allowing it to enter your mind. Smiling with our eyes is something that we all do naturally when we are with someone we care about. A good friend, a new born baby, we smile with our eyes toward them to let them know how much we care. 

Smiling with your eyes in a relaxed way will open heart to your present experience and make you feel more open to what you are experiencing now. When we smile with our eyes into our present experience it is natural to feel acceptance, compassion, contentment, etc. toward it and with practice, in all aspects of your life.

How to smile with your eyes

Smiling with your eyes means to relax the muscles around your eyes and to smile like you would towards a loved one. In the way you would when you want them to know how much you care. If you observe people smiling at a baby, their child or someone they really care about, a large part of their smile is made by relaxing the area around their eyes. 

Smiling with our eyes is intimate. It makes us vulnerable. It opens empathy within our minds and allows us to feel what the other person is feeling. Whenever you bring your mind to the subtle pleasantness of letting go, your mind will absorb it into itself, and in its happiness, will produce more pleasant feeling to create a pleasant feeling feedback loop that is always available.

A Dhamma talk by Stephen Procter on the GOSS Formula is available to watch on YouTube:

• How to Develop Skill in Letting Go: GOSS 

When you first start meditating, thinking is one of the main places  that your attention will move towards without you noticing. If you  don't address the thinking in a skilful way, you may end up in an  all-out battle with it that you are doomed to lose. Instead of fighting your thinking when it comes up during your  meditation practice, you can make the thinking process itself the  object of meditation, so you can develop understanding about it.  

Three Experienced Levels of Thinking.  

Thinking will be a common visitor to your meditation practice, so  it is helpful to be able to identify the type of thinking that is  present, so that you know how to work with it. Thinking is just habit talking to you, it reflects past experience. It  will arise during your meditation as three different levels:

• Level 1) Energetic Thinking:  Energy based.
• Level 2) Obsessive Thinking: Emotionally based.
• Level 3) The Commentator: View Based.  

Level 1: Energetic Thinking.

The majority of thinking that you will experience during  meditation and everyday life is just the brain trying to burn off  excess energy that has been built up throughout your day. Energetic Thinking manifests as excess energy and restlessness. It can be recognised because it has no steady target, instead it moves  from one subject to another. The thoughts are often only related to  one little detail within the previous thought, which is usually  irrelevant to the original subject.   

How to Settle Energetic Thinking: Never try to stop Energetic Thinking when practicing meditation for insight. The effort of trying to stop it creates more energy and  this in turn feeds the thinking, so the cycle continues. Treat this sort of thinking like you would an overactive child or puppy. If you give them your attention, or try to push them away, they  will just become more active, want more attention and return  again and again. If you hold ‘bare awareness’ of the child or puppy  being there, without interacting with them, they will eventually tire and settle by themselves. In this way, be aware of the Energetic Thinking, without being drawn into it. Through mindful non participation the energy will start to lower, the thinking will slow  down and eventually stop.   

Level 2: Obsessive Thinking.  

Obsessive thinking will appear during meditation as a thought  pattern that hangs onto one subject and won’t let go. Obsessive  thinking is always driven by an Emotional Charge; this charge is  attached to the subject of the thought process. When this type of thinking arises the identification with the  content of the thought is often strong and it can be difficult not to  become emotionally involved with it. During meditation it is  necessary to be able to distinguish between what you are thinking  about and the emotional charge that is driving it.  

How to Settle Obsessive Thinking: Never try to deal with Obsessive Thinking at the level of the  story; what you are thinking about. This will just make the  thought process continue to cycle. Instead, as soon as you notice  that you have been caught within the story, acknowledge it and  then turn your attention towards the experience of thinking itself. In particular pay attention to the emotional charge driving the  thought process and notice where it manifests within your body. It  will appear as various sensations such as ‘tightness’ & ‘tension’. Once  you have identified the sensations notice if they have a ‘pleasant’ or  ‘unpleasant’ feeling tone or flavour permeating them (Vedana). Mentally separate the ‘pleasant’ or ‘unpleasant feeling tone’ and use  slow, gentle breaths to soften into it. This feeling tone is the basis  for the whole process. Acceptance and non-reaction to the feeling  tone causes the obsessive thinking cycle to collapse.  

Try this meditation, applying the GOSS Formula (10 minutes)  

*Sit comfortably on a chair or the floor, eyes closed.  

*Gently hold one hand in the other on your lap.  

*Mentally feel the touch of your hands to Ground your awareness.  

*Make the intension to not think – Observe what happens.  

*Observe when thinking arises, identify its emotional charge.  

*Label it as “planning”, “remembering”, “fearing”, etc.   

*Observe your relationship to the experience (like / dislike).  

*Observe any emotional response in your body - tightness.  

*Using gentle Softening breathing to Soften into your relationship to it to let it go.

*Smile with your eyes, enjoying how nice it feels to let go to reward your mind.

*Return to the touch of your hands, Grounded, to begin again.  

Level 3: The Commentator.

The Commentator is the judge, jury and executioner of the world.  It sits in the background of your mind and comments on, judges  everything as: good or bad, right or wrong, “I like, I don’t like.” The  Commentator lives in a world of separation and enjoys reinforcing  the sense of separateness between you and everything else, causing  conflict to make itself feel more real.    

The Commentator is subtle and looks out at the world through its  views and opinions. It is the last layer of thinking, has a strong  sense of conceit and is the level we most identify with. The only  way to be free from the commentator is through mindful  observation. Observing the Commentator’s antics gives rise to  disenchantment (nibbida), causing the identification with it to  cease. You will no longer believe the stories that are being told,  viewing them as just verbalisation of old habitual patterns.  The Commentator dissolves when you fully penetrate reality and see deeply into its anatta (autonomous, by itself) nature.  

How Mindfulness of Thinking Develops.

When you first start training in MIDL Insight Meditation you may at first continuously find yourself lost within thinking. This is normal. As you observe the process of thinking with mindfulness and curiosity, your relationship toward thinking will  start to change. Attraction to it will weaken and you will be able to experience gaps of the peace that comes from freedom from habitual thinking Patterns.

How Mindfulness of Thinking Develops:

1. When your mindfulness and curiosity is weak you may only notice that you have been lost within thinking after you are distracted from it.
2. As your mindfulness and curiosity strengthens you will start to notice when you are lost in thinking, becoming aware of it by yourself.
3. As mindfulness and curiosity develop samadhi (collectedness of mind) the time in which you are lost within  thinking will shorten and thinking will dissolve under your attention.
4. When your samadhi is strong you will start to notice the very moment a thought arises and a sucking feeling towards it.
5. When your samadhi is fully developed thoughts will appear as bubbles that burst when awareness rests on them. 

For insight, it is helpful to divide thoughts and memories into two observable relationships and two observable manifestations.

Observable relationships:

1. Not sticky.
2. Sticky.

Observable manifestations:

1. Not absorbed into.
2. Absorbed into.

As a general rule:

Not sticky, not absorbed: If you observe that the thoughts or memories are not sticky, and you are not getting lost / absorbed into them, then you can just let them be in your background awareness because they are not capturing your attention. Simply noticing that they are there and their anatta (autonomous) nature is enough. Like allowing a child to chatter in the background without giving interest to it, you allow these energy ripples in your mind to occur and consume their own energy. Non sticky thoughts or memories that you do not get absorbed into will not affect your ability to develop calm, regardless as to whether they are present or not.

Not sticky, absorbed into: If you observe that you have been lost within a thought or memory, but it is not sticky then apply some softening. The reason is that for you mind becoming absorbed into the thought or memory, you have had to have lost background awareness of your body for a period of time. Once you observe you were lost in thought, take a few slow, softening breaths and relax awareness back into your body. Smiling as awareness returns, noticing how nice it feels to relax, to reward your mind for letting the thought or memory go, for letting it be. As in your first option.

Sticky, absorbed into: If you observe that you keep getting lost within a thought or memory, and it occurs again and again, this is a sign that it is sticky. Stickiness refers to it having an emotional charge and therefore that thought or memory will also have an attached vedana: feeling of pleasantness or unpleasantness, to it. As in your second option, this benefits from investigation to loosen up and slightly dry out the stickiness of emotional charge, before softening, otherwise it will continue to occur again and again. When this type of thought or memory occurs, to create space around it, it is helpful to break it up into parts before fully experiencing the vedana, as you have described.

To work skilfully with thoughts and memories that are sticky and that your mind keeps absorbing into:

Break your experience up in this way for insight when you apply the Observe part of GOSS:

1. Elemental quality in your body.
2. Vedana quality in your body.
3. Minds relationship to the vedana.
4. Soften the effort to not like, not want, smile and enjoy the relaxing, letting go.

...........................

Explanation:

1. When a sticky thought or memory keeps coming up again and again, begin by Observing the elemental quality of the emotion accompanying it in your body such as tightness, tension, warmth, hardness, tingling etc. in your body.
2. Observing these elemental experiences within your body will reveal the vedana quality of the emotional quality attached to the thought or memory as a flavour or taste of pleasantness or unpleasantness. "What does this emotional experience taste like? Is it pleaseant or unpleaseant? It is this underlying feeling and your minds relationship to it, that feuls the thinking / remembering loop in your mind.
3. This will reveal its mind quality such as your minds relationship of "I like, I want" or "I don't like, I don't want". When you Observe your minds relationship you will clearly see a back feeding loop of effort based on feeling attracted or averse as your mind brings to mind the thought or memory again and again, boosting the previous three qualities.
4. If the emotional charge feels unpleasant, fully experience the unpleasantness while gently applying the Softening part of the GOSS Formula to the effort behind the resistance within your mind and body. This effort is felt as the effort to 'not like', 'not want' something. As you Soften, gently apply the fourth step of GOSS Smile,  by smiling with  / into your eyes and enjoying how nice it feels to relax, let go, and return to mindfulness of your body again, Grounded. Smiling with your yes as you soften, enjoying the returning to presence within your body will reward your mind for letting go, making it easier for it to let go in the future.
5. In the case of the emotional charge being pleasant and having an addictive nature, it requires one extra step: seeing the near danger in it. In most cases fully experiencing a thought or memory to its end, while softening the desire to react to it, will reveal the unsatisfying nature of that craving. The pleasantness of it will than become unpleasant and you can Soften and Smile as in step 4. If the craving is more addictive the unpleasantness of it can be found after you have falling into the addictive pattern and come out the other end. This means to protect yourself in any way you can, but not to try to stop it in the peak, but in the trough at the end. Noticing how you feel in your body and mind, after following that craving cycle, and then following step 4 will gradually bring it to an end in my experience.

When cultivating calm and tranquility during mindfulness of breathing, you can use the GOSS Formula in this way to develop a momentum of letting go:

Ground > Observe > Soften > Smile > repeat.

1. G = You develop mindfulness of your breathing while keeping a background peripheral awareness of your whole body as a grounding point.
2. O = You are curious about accessing the pleasure of relaxing/letting go in each breath to develop a momentum of letting go in your mind.
3. S = You find the pleasure in your meditation object and letting go, softening/relaxing into it.
4. S = You smile with your eyes into the pleasure of letting go. Smiling into your body and breathing, finding pleasure in it.
5. Repeat.

When there are background experiences within your peripheral awareness, but your mind takes no interest in them you can use the GOSS formula in this way to develop calm and tranquility.

Ground > Observe > Soften > Smile > repeat.

1. G = You don't need to do anything; you are already grounded in your body & breathing.
2. O = You observe background thoughts, sounds, etc. they do not pull your attention.
3. S = You find pleasure in your body & breathing, softening interest in other experiences.
4. S = You smile with your eyes into the pleasure of letting everything go. Smiling with your eyes into your body and breathing, finding pleasure in it.
5. Repeat.

When your attention wanders to sounds or thoughts etc. but you are still aware of your meditation object, you can use the GOSS Formula in this way to settle wandering. 

Ground > Observe > Soften > Smile > repeat.

Note: In this case you have not lost your grounding point (mindfulness of your body):

1. G = You don't need to do anything; you are already grounded in your body & breathing.
2. O = You notice the autonomous, by itself, anatta nature of mind wandering.
3. S = You soften your interest in mind wandering, feeling the pleasure of this relaxation and letting go in your mind, body and breathing.
4. S = You smile with your eyes into pleasure of this letting go, smiling into your body, into your breathing to re-find the pleasure in it.
5. Repeat.

When you become distracted and completely forget your meditation object, you can use the GOSS Formula to weaken your mind's habitual tendency to become distracted.

Ground > Observe > Soften > Smile > repeat.

Note: In this case, you have lost your grounding point (mindfulness of your body). 

1) Ground: As soon as you notice you have been distracted take a few gentle softening breaths to bring awareness back to your body.

2) Observe: Anything strong enough to block your ability to develop relaxation & calm is considered a distraction and an object of curious insight.

• Anatta > sensation > feeling > relationship > effort > soften > smile.

Curious Investigation Sequence:

1. Anatta: observe how being distracted happened autonomously by itself.
2. Sensation: observe the sensations associated with the distraction in your body, separating it into hardness, tension, warmth, coolness, etc.
3. Feeling: observe the feeling of pleasantness or unpleasantness of the distraction.
4. Relationship: observe attraction or aversion / wanting or not wanting / liking or disliking.
5. Effort: observe the effort it takes to be attracted or averse to the distraction.

3) Soften: You soften/relax your interest in the distraction, feeling the pleasure of this relaxation and letting go in your mind, body, and breathing.

4) Smile: You smile with your eyes into the pleasure of this letting go, smiling into your body, into your breathing to re-find the pleasure in it.

5) Repeat.