GOSS: How to Let Go

Meditation always begins by developing a grounding or reference point from which you can develop both calm & insight.

Below is a simple instruction of how the GOSS Formula does this. 

GOSS Formula: How to Let Go.

1. Ground.
2. Observe.
3. Soften.
4. Smile.
5. Repeat if needed.

Ground = develop mindfulness of your body to create a reference point to the present.

Observe = notice whenever you become distracted from this reference point.

Soften = relax effort in your body and mind to let go of the distraction.

Smile = enjoy how nice it feels to relax/let go of effort to reward your mind.

As you soften & let go, while enjoying it, your awareness will naturally return and rest (ground) in your body again. GOSS is a circular process of developing insight into letting go & experiencing enjoyment in it to reward your mind for letting go. This process of insight + pleasure reward will gradually decondition unwholesome & unskillful habitual patterns from your mind.

Developing the GOSS Formula:

In the first four Meditation Skills in this course, you will learn how to let go by following the GOSS Formula in seated meditation and daily life.

• In Meditation Skill 01 & 02, you will learn how to relax physically and mentally to withdraw awareness from your intellectual mind and immerse it within your body. This relates to the Soften part of the GOSS Formula: Ground --> Observe --> Soften --> Smile.
• In Meditation Skill 03, you will learn how to be mindful of your body so that your awareness becomes mindfully present (grounded) within it. From the foundation of Mindful Presence of your body, you will become sensitive to whenever your mind habitually wanders, allowing you to develop insight into anatta (autonomous nature).This relates to the Ground & Observe part of the GOSS Formula: Ground --> Observe --> Soften --> Smile.
• In Meditation Skill 04, you will learn how to reward your mind by finding enjoyment in relaxing and let go of distraction, becoming Mindfully Present in your body again. This relates to the Smile part of the GOSS Formula: Ground --> Observe --> Soften --> Smile.

You will than have all the tools you need to train the focus of your attention and to weaken hindrances such as habitually forgetting, thinking and wandering of your mind.

The word Ground aligns with the first Awakening Factor: Mindfulness, and refers to when you are mindfully aware of your body in seated meditation or daily life. It is called being Grounded because when you are mindfully aware of the experience of your body you have a reference point to your present experience. 

Having a reference point to your present experience (being grounded in the present) is an advantage when training your mind in the skill of both calm and insight. Since the mind is capable focussing on realities based in the past, present, and future (thinking, fantasies etc.), and your body's experience is always here and now, being mindful of your body's experience will grounds your awareness in the present.

Lets practice this meditation exercise:

Read and remember these simple instructions.

1. Sit comfortably and close your eyes.
2. Place your hands in your lap and touch your thumbs lightly together.
3. Become aware of:

• the warmth of your hands. 
• the pressure of your hands.
• The touch of your thumbs.

During your meditation, notice how the simple act of being aware of these experiences keeps your mind present and creates a temporarily gap in thinking, planning, remembering, etc. 

The word Observe aligns with developing the second Awakening Factor: Curiosity and refers to being curious about developing calm and noticing whenever your attention wanders from being mindfully aware of your body.

Seeing the Autonomous Nature.

It happened by itself! By observing your mind's wanderings and your relationship to when your mind wanders, you will begin to see the anatta (autonomous nature) of mind wandering. Observing how many of the natural functions of your mind are anatta (autonomous) will teach your mind to let them go. Letting go of identification and control of these experiences develops freedom in heart and mind that is experienced as contentment and and ever deepening sense of calm in all aspects of life.

Observing when Your Mind Wanders is Passive.

Strangely enough, noticing that your mind has wandered during meditation is also passive. At some stage in meditation you will begin to realise that your mind wandered by itself. You will also begin to realise that you didn't notice that your mind had wandered, what happened is that your mind, because of your training in meditation, remembered to return to mindfulness, by itself. Whenever you notice that you have been lost within a thought or fantasy, mindfulness this noticing happens by itself.

 Literally, if your mind finds enjoyment in mindfulness it will remember to return to mindfulness by itself. This is why it is so important to be happy when you notice that you have been lost in your mind during your meditation. Being happy about noticing the returning of mindfulness, rewards the mind for being mindful again.

You can observe habitual wanderings of your mind when you notice:

1. That you have been distracted by thoughts or memories.
2. That you have been distracted by a sound or music.
3. That you have been distracted by an itch or pain in your body.
4. That you have been distracted by a reaction within your body.
5. When you notice how your mindfulness comes & goes by itself.

What is most important is not where your mind wandered to, but rather being happy about noticing that your mind had wandered and that the wandering itself happened by itself. This is a strange yet freeing insight into anatta.

The word Soften aligns with developing the third Awakening Factor: Balanced Effort and refers to noticing held effort within your mind & body due to attraction or aversion, and gently relaxing that effort while finding enjoyment in letting go. There is a subtle pleasant feeling that comes from enjoying how nice it feels to let go. This is so important because it is the enjoyment of this pleasant feeling found within letting go that rewards your mind for letting go. By learning to access the subtle pleasant feeling associated with letting go, and enjoying it, you will weaken any underlying tendencies within your mind of attraction or aversion.

Finding your reset button.

You can consider softening and relaxing effort within your mind as a reset button because it relaxes the mental grip of the focus of your mind's attention. It is important to understand that habitual patterns within your mind are self-sustaining. Literally, your mind practices itself every day, practicing different aspects of your personality every day. 

Softening & relaxing effort is active.

While being mindful of your body (ground) and noticing when your attention wanders (observe) is passive, softening the effort that supports that wandering is active and something that you do. As an added bonus, as you soften, relax and let go, you will become very aware and mindful of your body again (grounded), starting the GOSS Formula from the beginning again.

Softening effort does two things:

1. It creates a gap in your mind's ability to practice habit.
2. It rewards your mind with the subtle pleasantness found in the enjoyment of letting go.

Softening the grip of your mind's focus on a particular feeling, thought, emotion etc. creates a temporary gap in the habitual cycle. Inclining your mind toward the pleasantness of the enjoyment of letting go, will increase the gap in the habitual pattern while at the same time rewarding your mind for letting it go.

The word Smile aligns with the fourth Awakening Factor: Meditative Joy and refers to smiling with your eyes into the subtle pleasant feeling of letting go to create a feedback loop of enjoyment. The enjoyment of subtle pleasure of letting go is always available whenever you relax effort within your body & mind.

Reward your mind with the subtle pleasantness present of letting go.

To reward your mind for letting go, gently smile with your eyes into how nice it feels to relax and let go, enjoying this subtle pleasant feeling and allowing it to enter your mind. Smiling with our eyes is something that we all do naturally when we are with someone we care about. A good friend, a new born baby, we smile with our eyes toward them to let them know how much we care. 

Smiling with your eyes in a relaxed way will open heart to your present experience and make you feel more open to what you are experiencing now. When we smile with our eyes into our present experience it is natural to feel acceptance, compassion, contentment, etc. toward it and with practice, in all aspects of your life.

How to smile with your eyes

Smiling with your eyes means to relax the muscles around your eyes and to smile like you would towards a loved one. In the way you would when you want them to know how much you care. If you observe people smiling at a baby, their child or someone they really care about, a large part of their smile is made by relaxing the area around their eyes. 

Smiling with our eyes is intimate. It makes us vulnerable. It opens empathy within our minds and allows us to feel what the other person is feeling. Whenever you bring your mind to the subtle pleasantness of letting go, your mind will absorb it into itself, and in its happiness, will produce more pleasant feeling to create a pleasant feeling feedback loop that is always available.

A Dhamma talk by Stephen Procter on the GOSS Formula is available to watch on YouTube:

• How to Develop Skill in Letting Go: GOSS 

When cultivating calm and tranquility during mindfulness of breathing, you can use the GOSS Formula in this way to develop a momentum of letting go:

Ground > Observe > Soften > Smile > repeat.

1. G = You develop mindfulness of your breathing while keeping a background peripheral awareness of your whole body as a grounding point.
2. O = You are curious about accessing the pleasure of relaxing/letting go in each breath to develop a momentum of letting go in your mind.
3. S = You find the pleasure in your meditation object and letting go, softening/relaxing into it.
4. S = You smile with your eyes into the pleasure of letting go. Smiling into your body and breathing, finding pleasure in it.
5. Repeat.

When there are background experiences within your peripheral awareness, but your mind takes no interest in them you can use the GOSS formula in this way to develop calm and tranquility.

Ground > Observe > Soften > Smile > repeat.

1. G = You don't need to do anything; you are already grounded in your body & breathing.
2. O = You observe background thoughts, sounds, etc. they do not pull your attention.
3. S = You find pleasure in your body & breathing, softening interest in other experiences.
4. S = You smile with your eyes into the pleasure of letting everything go. Smiling with your eyes into your body and breathing, finding pleasure in it.
5. Repeat.

When your attention wanders to sounds or thoughts etc. but you are still aware of your meditation object, you can use the GOSS Formula in this way to settle wandering. 

Ground > Observe > Soften > Smile > repeat.

Note: In this case you have not lost your grounding point (mindfulness of your body):

1. G = You don't need to do anything; you are already grounded in your body & breathing.
2. O = You notice the autonomous, by itself, anatta nature of mind wandering.
3. S = You soften your interest in mind wandering, feeling the pleasure of this relaxation and letting go in your mind, body and breathing.
4. S = You smile with your eyes into pleasure of this letting go, smiling into your body, into your breathing to re-find the pleasure in it.
5. Repeat.

When you become distracted and completely forget your meditation object, you can use the GOSS Formula to weaken your mind's habitual tendency to become distracted.

Ground > Observe > Soften > Smile > repeat.

Note: In this case, you have lost your grounding point (mindfulness of your body). 

1) Ground: As soon as you notice you have been distracted take a few gentle softening breaths to bring awareness back to your body.

2) Observe: Anything strong enough to block your ability to develop relaxation & calm is considered a distraction and an object of curious insight.

• Anatta > sensation > feeling > relationship > effort > soften > smile.

Curious Investigation Sequence:

1. Anatta: observe how being distracted happened autonomously by itself.
2. Sensation: observe the sensations associated with the distraction in your body, separating it into hardness, tension, warmth, coolness, etc.
3. Feeling: observe the feeling of pleasantness or unpleasantness of the distraction.
4. Relationship: observe attraction or aversion / wanting or not wanting / liking or disliking.
5. Effort: observe the effort it takes to be attracted or averse to the distraction.

3) Soften: You soften/relax your interest in the distraction, feeling the pleasure of this relaxation and letting go in your mind, body, and breathing.

4) Smile: You smile with your eyes into the pleasure of this letting go, smiling into your body, into your breathing to re-find the pleasure in it.

5) Repeat.