Sakadāgāmi: Once Returner

A Sakadāgāmi (Once Returner), in MIDL, refers to an insight meditator who has significantly weakened the underlying conditions that support the tendency toward the fourth & fifth fetters of attraction and aversion. In MIDL, these two fetters are significantly weakened by:

1. Deepening insight into anatta, vedana and specific conditionality.
2. Deconditioning vedana (feeling tone) from thoughts and memories.
3. Cultivating and establishing of kusala (wholesome) qualities in daily life. 

The term Once Returner refers to the significant weakening of the underlying tendency toward attraction and aversion with the meditators mind and the tendency of the mind to grab and let go of these experiences, rather then cling onto them when in habitual delusion. In this way the mind, still with delusion, will return once to a habitual pattern before turning away from it, and no longer apply attention toward it again and again. In simple terms the Sakadāgāmi's mind drops things as quickly as it picks them up causing a deconditioning of habitual patterns which prepares the mind for Anāgāmi-Insight.

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Ten Fetters Model.

To understand how to develop the conditions for Sotāpanna-Insight when following the insight model offered in MIDL, and to recognise the conditions when they occur in your mind, I will offer a short summary below, which we will elaborate in more depth further on in this article.

*Sotāpanna*, Sakadagami**, Anagami**, Arahant***.

1. View of a permanent self.*
2. Doubt.*
3. Attachment to rites & rituals.*
4. Attraction (significantly weakened).**
5. Aversion (significantly weakened).**
6. Desire for form.***
7. Desire for the formless.***
8. Conceit.***
9. Restlessness.***
10. Ignorance.***

With Sakadāgāmi-Insight, two hindrances are significantly weakened, three skillful perceptions of reality are significantly strengthened, and all wholesome and skillful qualities are significantly developed.

• Hindrances: Attraction & Aversion based significantly weakened.
• Perceptions: Anatta (autonomous nature), idappaccayatā (specific conditionality), and the law of kamma is seen and understood.
• Wholesome & Skillful: All wholesome & skillful qualities of heart & mind increase due to weakening of attraction & aversion and intentional cultivation of them within daily life through active, mindful living.

The way you meditate to create the conditions for Sakadāgāmi-Insight is similar to the way you meditated for Sotāpanna-Insight, except your now focus primarily on weakening the conditions that support any underlying tendency within your mind toward attraction and aversion. This inclination of the mind toward sensitivity to attraction & aversion happens naturally by itself as an expression of Sotāpanna-Insight.

Your meditation structure for Sakadāgāmi.

• Daily mindfulness of breathing 2hr+.
• Develop jhana & weaken remaining hindrances.
• Decondition underlying worldly vedana supporting attraction & aversion.
• Condition underlying spiritual vedana supporting kusala (wholesome qualities).
• Develop Awakening Factors & perception of anicca & anatta in the same way you did for Sotāpanna-Insight.

What meditating for Sakadāgāmi-Insight looks like in MIDL.

1) Your Main Meditation Practice. 

You continue to practice daily mindfulness of breathing in the same way by following the Markers as laid out in the Progression Map in the Third Pleasure Jhana section. When meditating twice per day alternate mindfulness of breathing with metta (loving kindness meditation) to access jhana. When meditating on a retreat you can alternate mindfulness of breathing and metta between the morning and evening period. The important part is that you are weakening attraction and aversion and strengthening wholesome qualities.

• When the conditions for calm are present, your focus is toward developing your skill in the accessing and dwelling in the Third & Fourth Pleasure Jhana's to stabilise samadhi and equanimity in your daily life (this is easier in a retreat setting because of samadhi decay rate when exposed to sensory stimulation). 
• When the conditions for calm are not present, your focus will be toward weakening any remaining hindrances (in the MIDL Hindrances List) that arise during your meditation and in daily life by applying the GOSS Formula. 

2) Deconditioning & Conditioning. 

After Sotāpanna-Insight your mind will become more sensitive to attraction and aversion in seated meditation and daily life than it was before. This will also mean a higher sensitivity to dukkha (friction/suffering) in everything you think, say and do. The increased sensitivity to dukkha can be used to increase your minds disenchantment toward habitual patterns by intentionally following them with clear comprehension (if they do not cause harm to others or significant harm to yourself). 

It is important therefore to keep be sensitive to where your attention rests and to apply it appropriately toward kusala (wholesome) states of mind and toward the pleasantness and content happiness of relaxing and letting go. This regular checking in and inclining your mind toward wholesomeness plus refinement and enjoyment of sila (morality) will significantly lower your experience of dukkha and protect your family and friends around you from the indifference that can arise through disenchantment unsupported by kusala qualities.

• Apply the GOSS Formula to decondition the vedana (feeling tone) for memories to remove the trigger point for underlying tendencies within your mind toward attraction and aversion. As attraction and aversion become weaker, cultivate any wholesome qualities that are weak in you in both seated meditation and daily life.
• The removal of vedana is assisted by following the techniques laid out in the Weaken Preoccupation with Past & Future and Decondition Vedana from Trigger Memories in the application section of this page. The conditioning of wholesome qualities is assisted by the following techniques laid out in the Cultivate Conditions for Wholesome Qualities section.

3) How Insight Unfolds from Sotāpanna to Sakadāgāmi.

• The Eight Progressive Conditions for Sakadāgāmi-Insight are the same as those for developing Sotāpanna-Insight. The difference is that the Sotāpanna's mind, now free from doubt, develops a heightened sensitivity to the presence/absence of attraction and aversion.

As mentioned in the previous section on Sotāpanna-Insight, vedana is the experienced background flavour of pleasantness or unpleasantness or neither that is released by the mind to sort experiences into dangerous, safe and not important. As well as these three vedana groups the Buddha defined vedana as either 'worldly' (conditioned by sensory contact) or 'spiritual' (conditioned by insight and/or letting go).   

Learning to understand the difference between worldly and spiritual vedana, and our minds  habitual relationship of grasping or pushing away vedana is the key to ending habituated attraction, aversion and indifference. When meditating for Sakadāgāmi-Insight in MIDL, one of your main tools toward weakening attraction and aversion is the using your softening skill to decondition vedana from the data base of your mind: memories. 

When meditating for Anāgāmī -Insight you will develop insight into the transitory and insubstantial nature of vedana such that your mind will no longer respond to vedana conditioned by sensory contact, completely cutting of the causal chains at that point, allowing the mind to dwell in constant equanimity as an expression of Anāgāmī : Non-Returner.

Example of an Observable Causal Chain.

This is ordinary conditioned causal chain that can be on any sensory contact that occurs in the the Six Sense Fields: sight, sound, smell, taste, touch sensation, mind experience.

1. Sensory Contact.
2. Initial Perception.
3. Vedana: Feeling Tone.
4. Layered Perception. 
5. Attraction & Aversion.
6. Craving / Desire.
7. Initial Thinking.
8. Proliferation of Thinking.
9. Speech.
10. Action.

After initial perception (2) of a sensory experience (1) your mind will release a worldly: pleasant feeling tone, unpleasant feeling tone or no feeling tone (3) in order to sort the experience into the three worldly categories of  safe, unsafe, or not important. 

What conditions the release of worldly vedana on contact is the mind diving into the data-base of past memories as it asks the question: What is this? Your mind in this data search will compare that sensory experience to the closest memory and release the perception and attached worldly vedana. This in turn creates the conditions for an autonomous (anatta) conditioned response of attraction, aversion or indifference.

The key here is to stop your mind from habitually practicing a habitual causal chain, without developing a mirror causal chain of aversion toward it. This is a danger that we face as insight meditators when we try to suppress, cut-off, or avoid any experience. This mirror causal chain can occur in any part of the causal chain from vedana onwards. Once triggered it has the potential to produce another conditioning vedana dependant on the meditators conditioned relationship of attraction, aversion or indifference to any part of it.

Example of secondary causal chain potential.

From vedana (3-10) onwards the mind has the ability to reapply initial perception and apply another vedana to any part of the causal chain.

1. Sensory Contact.
2. Initial Perception.
3. Vedana: Feeling Tone > vedana potential > ....
4. Layered Perception > ....
5. Attraction & Aversion > ....
6. Craving / Desire > ....
7. Initial Thinking > ....
8. Proliferation of Thinking > ....
9. Speech > ....
10. Action > ....

In this way this chain of dependant origination is observable in daily life as more like a puff ball blown by the breath, or as ripples on a pond spreading in all directions, rather then an clean straight line from contact (1) to action (10).

Your aim, when developing the conditions for Sakadāgāmi-Insight, is to develop insight into and remove the underlying worldly vedana attached to your memories so that your mind does not release vedana on contact. Removing the vedana from memories does not interfere with the process of perception but it will weaken your minds ability to habitually practice underlying tendencies of attraction, aversion or indifference. 

When removing vedana by finding enjoyment in letting go of/releasing sensory experience and experiencing, the mind will release a spiritual pleasant feeling (vedana) to reflect that release. If spiritual vedana based on letting go is used in conjunction with deconditioning vedana from memories, the mind will replace the worldly vedana with spiritual vedana. 

Worldly vedana has one command for the mind whether pleasant or unpleasant: "Grasp onto this". Since spiritual vedana also has has one command for the mind whether pleasant or unpleasant: "Let go of this", when mind experiences this spiritual vedana on sensory contact it does one thing: it lets go. 

These experiences can be observed after Sakadāgāmi-Insight and used to map the Wisdom shift in your mind. It is important to note that life will test whether this shift is real and that it can take a period of time after this insight for habitual tendencies to catch up with wisdom. This means that if your mind had very strong patterns before this insight, it will still produce habitual patterns of attraction and aversion. 

However, at Sakadāgāmi, these patterns will have no power within themselves and your mind will prefer to incline toward kusala states when they do arise. Over the next few years, due to atrophy through non-use, these patterns will come to a complete end. It is important to honestly observe your mind and its relationship towards experiences and experiencing in daily life. It is better to underestimate your progress in insight rather than to overestimate it. Always aim to rest in "I don't know". 

These three changes from Sotāpanna-Insight will continue to mature:

1. The uplifting happiness of Saddha (verified faith) will continue to grow.
2. Your mind will continue to perceive everything as anicca & anatta and trust in this.
3. You will continue to see everything through the perception of Specific Conditionality & Kamma, becoming increasingly sensitive to causal conditions created through every arising and ceasing.

Changes specific to Sakadāgāmi-Insight:

1. Your minds tendency toward attraction aversion will feel significantly weakened in your daily life even in what used to be stressful or stimulating situations.
2. Gross emotions such as anxiety, depression, frustration, anger, jealousy, loneliness, craving, lust etc, all based on gross attraction and aversion, will significantly weaken and gradually over time as you get close to Anāgāmī -Insight, will no longer arise. 
3. When sensual desire and sexual attraction arise they will feel weak and no longer proliferate (build) with the mind seeing what was originally perceived as pleasure as being unpleasant. This correlates with a gradual weakening of physical sexual responses in your body. Through non-use, including no interest in masturbation or sexual stimulation, the physical sexual responses of your body will begin to shut down.
4. Your mind will incline toward resting on wholesomeness (kusala) rather than unwholesomeness (akusala) in daily life. Your mind will rejoice in skillfulness and want to associate with skillful people and activities.
5. The relationship between Specific Conditionality and Kamma in all aspects of life will be extremely clear to you and your mind will incline toward sila in regard to harmony in thought, speech and action. This will express as a sensitivity and intimacy in a wholesome relationship toward yourself, family, friends, animals and the world.

 It is time to develop forgiveness towards yourself and others in order to put down any preoccupation of your mind with the past. When combined with gratitude your mind will lose interest in the past and future and dwell more in present experience that is largely free from the influences and conditioning of the past.

This begins by intentionally offering forgiveness to all your past and recent painful memories to weaken your minds application of vedana to present experience. Forgiveness does not say that what happened is ok, but rather it says: "What has happened, has happened and I cannot change it; I will not suffer over this anymore".  

As long as we do not forgive our self or others, we will be living a life conditioned by our relationship to the past. By putting down our pain through forgiveness, the pains of the past come to an end and awareness more easily dwells within the present experience creating the conditions for wisdom to arise. 

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Practice daily for 1 week or until the feel that you have forgiven your past. Then practice weekly or as needed to no longer create any past pain. Learn to forgive from that point as soon as the event occurs to prevent painful memories from being stored. 

Observe that when something is known, it has already occurred, and that you are already viewing a memory of the past, rather than a pure present experience.

NOTE: Once deconditioning and forgiveness are complete it will be as if you have no past, the feeling of past falls away. You will still have all your past memories but the sorting of memories in terms of pleasant and unpleasant vedana will have been stripped away. This means that present suffering is no longer conditioned by past memories.

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Step 1: Ask Yourself for Forgiveness

Sit down, close your eyes and bring yourself to mind. Forgive yourself for all the things you have done to bring harm to yourself:

• “(your name here), if I have done anything to hurt you in any way, knowingly or unknowingly, please forgive me.”
• Say this slowly and gently with meaning three times and each time picture yourself gently saying back: “I forgive you.”

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Step 2: Ask Another for Forgiveness

Now think of someone that you have hurt in some way. Ask for their forgiveness to allow healing by silently saying to them:

• “(their name here), if I have done anything to hurt you in any way, knowingly or unknowingly, please forgive me.”
• Say this slowly and gently with meaning three times and each time picture them gently saying back to you: “I forgive you.”

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Step 3: Offer Forgiveness to Another

Now think of someone that has hurt you in some way. Offer them your forgiveness to allow healing by silently saying to them:

• “(their name here), for any hurt that you have caused me, in any way, knowingly or unknowingly, I forgive you.” 
• Say this slowly and gently with meaning three times and each time picture them gently saying back to you: “thank you.”

When to progress.

You are ready to progress to Gratitude: Releasing the Future when:

• Your mind no longer holds any longings or regrets regarding the past and finds joy in abiding in your present experiences. 
• Your mind no longer stores memories of present painful experiences because of the combined strength of forgiveness and letting go.

Guided Meditation.

• SoundCloud: Guided Meditation.
• Insight Timer App: Guided Meditation.

 While forgiveness is concerned with healing your relationship towards the past, gratitude is concerned with establishing awareness within the present experience through removing longing for the future. When gratitude is not present, we lose sight of what is important within our life and start focusing on how we feel things should be. This creates a divide between reality and our desires causing suffering to arise within our life.

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Practice daily on waking or before falling asleep. Look for opportunities to reflect on and express what you are fortunate to have within your life.

Step 1: Reflect on Small Things in Life

Sit down and reflect on small things in your life you have to be grateful for. Your house to keep you dry, clothing, food to eat, water to drink. Simple things that you may have taken for granted. 

• “Thank you for all that I have in my life” 
• “Thank you for my ( _ _ _ _ _ _ )”
• “I am so blessed.”   
• “Thank you for my ( _ _ _ _ _ _ )” 
• “I am so fortunate.” 

Keep gently repeating these phrases to yourself, in no hurry, and really mean it. Smile when you say it. The key is to develop the feeling of gratitude that comes from this reflection.  

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Step 2: Reflect on People in Your Life

Now reflect on people within your life that you are grateful for.

• “Thank you (insert name) for loyalty and friendship.” 
• “I really do appreciate having you in my life.” 
• “Thank you (insert name) for all you have done for me.”  
• “I am blessed to have you in my life.” 

Keep focusing on them in your mind allowing the feeling to grow.  

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Step 3: Allow the Feeling to Grow Within

Next, send your thoughts of gratitude out into your neighborhood, suburb, city, state, country and beyond. 

• “Thank you for all that I have in my life, I am truly blessed.”

Guided Meditation.

• SoundCloud: Guided Meditation.
• Insight Timer App: Guided Meditation.

This is a high skill, MIDL technique , and during this training mindfulness meditation becomes very real. We intentionally trigger painful memories to develop understanding of the heart / mind and to decondition vedana (feeling tone) from these memories. 

If you want to try this MIDL deconditioning technique, do so at your own discretion. If you have not done the earlier training and developed your mindfulness, concentration and softening skills then you are likely to become lost within the emotional charge and resist the unpleasantness. 

In this case you either need to commit to the MIDL systematic training or have someone skilled in this technique to guide you to develop this skill.

The mind attaches a pleasant or unpleasant feeling (vedana) to each memory in order to sort them into dangerous or safe. When a memory is accessed, this feeling is released triggering a conditioned emotional response within our body. A habitual pattern based on attraction or aversion then unfolds (the tendency towards indifference arises if no feeling tone is present). 

By understanding how this process works, you can remove the feeling tone from memories quickly, thereby removing the conditions necessary for motivating habitual defensive patterns, bringing the anxious cycle to an end. Stripping back the feeling tone within this data base, alters the way the mind perceives present experience and leaves it open to interpretation in regard to appropriate relationship. The appropriate relationship is then conditioned by sila (harmonising) which is supported by panna (verified wisdom), which become the data base for the mind. 

Hence the importance of Right View.

Deconditioning Vedana from Memories.

Deconditioning is dependent on your earlier training in the ability to manipulate the stress response through the use of slow diaphragmatic breaths. During earlier MIDL training you also learnt how to ‘borrow’ the deflation of your body with each out-breath in order to abandon any mental engagement/resistance to the memory. First you create the conditions for meditation, relaxed, sitting on the chair/floor, present, safe in the room. you then bring to mind a memory that was preselected and hold it gently in mind. 

To decondition the emotional charge and its attached vedana, it is not necessary to know what the memory is about or how it come to be; it is your relationship towards it that is important. 

You then observe the emotion that is released from the memory, it is helpful to remind yourself that you are safe by softening into your body. Once awareness is grounded in your body, start to notice the unpleasantness of the emotion as it releases within your body, understanding that it is just a danger signal produced by your survival mind as a signal of danger; unpleasant feeling cannot hurt you in any way. 

You are safe.

You then use slow, softening breaths, to soften/relax your relationship towards the unpleasant feeling, towards any resistance. Not trying to make it go away, accepting it, letting it be. This is done using a cycle of five breaths and is focused on both physical and mental relaxation. If this is successful you will notice that when you open your eyes, it is difficult to do and happens slowly as it will take your mind a while to re-engage with the world. If, however, your eyes want to open fast, then it is a sign that you did not reach deep mental relaxation and need to refine your ability to soften. 

You then ask some simple questions on your current experience, be careful not to bring the unpleasant memory to mind at this stage so that you do not influence these results:

"Is the emotion in your body stronger after the five softening breaths, the same or weaker than it was before?”

1) If it is ‘stronger’ then your resistance is high, and another method should be entered into, or you should return to learning how to soften with each out-breath.  

2) If it is the same, then there was some resistance in your relaxing and you should try to relax/abandon more deeply next time.

3) If the emotional charge is weaker, then your ability to soften is good and your mind has started to weaken the danger signal (vedana) attached to the memory. If it became weaker, then generally after another 5 repeats of the same process you will be able to hold a traumatic memory in mind without any reaction at all. Other memories can then be accessed methodically, start with an easier, less painful memory and gradually progress as you develop confidence in the process.

**Note: During this training we take a soft approach and also access pleasant memories, in actual application this is not the case.

Instructions for Meditation.

Step 1: Pleasant feeling.

1. Take your meditation posture. 
2. Ground your awareness within the experience of your body as it sits. 
3. Observe what it feels like to be present, within your body – here, now - safe. 
4. Bring to mind a pleasant memory from the past, observe change in the experience of your body. 
5. Notice its pleasantness (vedana) as a flavour or taste of the physical response.
6. Notice the attraction towards this pleasantness as enjoyment within your mind and the effort that underlies wanting it.
7. Using six slow softening breaths, soften into your relationship towards it.
8. Repeat this process, learn to observe the physical response to the pleasant memory (kaya) as a reflection of your mind (citta). Learn to separate out the feeling tone (vedana) and observe what happens when you soften your relationship towards the underlying vedana.

Step 2: Unpleasant feeling.

1. Take your meditation posture. 
2. Ground your awareness within the experience of your body as it sits. 
3. Observe what it feels like to be present, within your body – here, now - safe. 
4. Caution: Bring to mind a mild unpleasant memory from the past.
5. Observe change in tightness or tension in your body, particularly at the base of the throat, chest or belly. 
6. Notice its unpleasantness as a flavour or taste of the physical response.
7. Notice any aversion towards this unpleasantness as "I don't like, I don't want" within your mind and the effort that underlies not wanting it.
8. Using six slow softening breaths, soften into your relationship towards it.
9. Read: How to Monitor Your Progress.
10. Repeat this process, learn to observe the physical response to the pleasant memory (kaya) as a reflection of your mind (citta). Learn to separate out the feeling tone (vedana) and observe what happens when you soften your relationship towards the underlying vedana.

How to monitor your progress.

Follow the meditation steps instructions six times, at the end of each softening checking your progress with three simple questions:

“Is the emotional charge in my body stronger, the same or weaker now that I have softened than it was when I first brought the memory to mind?”

Monitoring Progress

If the emotional charge is stronger then you need to refine your mindfulness and softening skills, do not practice this meditation further. If the emotional charge is the same you need to develop your softening skill, there is still some resistance present.

If the emotional charge is weaker now, then your softening and mindfulness are strong enough. Apply five more cycles of deconditioning to this memory.

• Be curious about the relationship between memories and the feeling tone present. observe that when a memory is brought to mind a corresponding feeling is released within your body.
• Observe the undeniable urge to escape from unpleasant feeling, to search for pleasant feeling and to stop paying attention when neutral feeling is present.
• Observe that when you soften / relax all resistance or attraction against that feeling that the feeling and emotional charge attached to the memory start to fade.

When to progress.

You are ready to progress to Meditation: Deconditioning Your Mind when:

• You understand how to deeply soften/relax all resistance towards mild unpleasant memories and can observe a significant weakening of vedana on that memory so that when you bring it to mind out of meditation there is no desire to react/respond at all, instead it becomes completely neutral to you.

Guided meditation & video instruction.

Please note that the recording and video for the practicality of instruction uses kaya-gata sati (mindfulness immersed within the body) as a foundation for practical reasons and once you understand the technique it is important to learn to apply it without guidance.

• SoundCloud: Guided Meditation.
• Insight Timer App: Guided Meditation.

Before doing this meditation, select the memory that you are going to work with during the session. Memories are linked, so your mind may swap from one to another while using this deconditioning technique. Whenever you notice that the memory has swapped, gently bring your attention back to the one you are working with.

Always stay with the emotional charge within your body rather than the story contained within the memory. You could even write it down before starting to direct your attention. Begin by sitting comfortably and bringing your awareness to the experience of just sitting in a chair or on the floor, this will be your grounding point to reality. Once settled, bring one difficult memory to mind and gently hold it within your awareness. Learn this skill by starting with a memory in which the emotional charge is not too strong. 

As you bring this memory to mind, notice the experience of emotion as it arises within your body, particularly around the centre of your chest. Know that this is just a reflection of the past, it is not the reality of what is happening ‘now’ and cannot hurt you. Break up the experience of the emotion within your body into sensations: such as 'hard', 'tight', 'heavy', 'warm' etc. Notice the underlying feeling of unpleasantness that fills the experience of the emotion like a flavour / taste (the vedana). and soften / relax deeply into your relationship towards the unpleasant feeling (attraction/aversion) using the softening into skill.

Instructions for Meditation.

Important: Do not try to make any unpleasant feeling go away, but rather deeply relax into it, holding it gently in mind and accepting it. Abandon all participation with it, soften all effort. Do this for five softening breaths, allowing your breathing to return to normal after the fifth softening breath. After opening your eyes, give your body a shake to release the residue of any physical tension held within your body. Then without bringing the memory to mind again, check the strength of the emotional charge within your body to gauge the deconditioning based on the below formula. 

Step 1: Sit in a comfortable meditation posture.

It is helpful to sit in a comfortable meditation posture or chair for deconditioning, one that you can completely and fully let go and relax. Your focus during deconditioning is not on developing samadhi but rather on fully and completely letting go to help your mind in face of this danger, feel safe.

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Step 2: Observe what it feels like to be present.

Observe what it feels like to be present, within your body – here, now - safe: grounding your awareness within the experience of your body as it sits. 

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Step 3: Bring your selected unpleasant memory to mind.

Caution: Bring to mind an unpleasant memory from the past.

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Step 4: Observe any changes in your body.

Observe any change in tightness or tension in your body, particularly at the base of the throat, chest or belly. 

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Step 5: Observe its unpleasantness, sense of unease.

Observe its unpleasantness as a flavour or taste of the physical response and any general sense of unease around what is being experienced.

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Step 6: Observe any aversion towards this unpleasantness.

Observe any aversion towards this unpleasantness as "I don't like, I don't want" within your mind and the effort that underlies not wanting it.

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Step 7: Take five slow softening breaths and soften into this aversion.

Using five slow softening breaths, soften into this effort to resist, into your minds relationship towards what is being experienced.

• Read: How to Monitor Your Progress.
• Repeat this process, learn to observe the physical response to the pleasant memory (kaya) as a reflection of your mind (citta). Learn to separate out the feeling tone (vedana) and observe what happens when you soften your relationship towards the underlying vedana.

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How to Monitor Your Progress.

Follow the meditation steps instructions six times, at the end of each softening checking your progress with three simple questions:

“Is the emotional charge in my body stronger, the same or weaker now that I have softened than it was when I first brought the memory to mind?”

Monitoring Progress

If the emotional charge is stronger then you need to refine your mindfulness and softening skills, do not practice this meditation further. If the emotional charge is the same you need to develop your softening skill, there is still some resistance present. If the emotional charge is weaker now, then your softening and mindfulness are strong enough. Apply five more cycles of deconditioning to this memory.

• Be curious about the relationship between memories and the feeling tone present. observe that when a memory is brought to mind a corresponding feeling is released within your body. 
• Observe the undeniable urge to escape from unpleasant feeling, to search for pleasant feeling and to stop paying attention when neutral feeling is present.
• Observe that when you soften / relax all resistance or attraction against that feeling that the feeling and emotional charge attached to the memory start to fade.

Guided meditation & video instruction.

Please note that the recording and video for the practicality of instruction uses kaya-gata sati (mindfulness immersed within the body) as a foundation for practical reasons and once you understand the technique it is important to learn to apply it without guidance.

• Sound Cloud: Guided Meditation.
• Insight Timer App: Guided Meditation.

"Wishing: In gladness and in safety: 'May all beings be at ease', whatever living beings there may be. The Buddha SN 1.8

Now that the tendency toward attraction and aversion has been significantly weakened within your heart & mind, it is time to replace these tendencies with wholesome (kusala) ones. This means devoting your daily seated meditation to practicing kusala (wholesome) qualities to jhanic level to embed them as heart 7 mind tendencies, plus intentional inclining your mind toward these kusala states and practicing them in daily life, until they become and expression of your personality; your natural resting and abiding place.

We begin our training by developing the wholesome quality of Loving Kindness (Metta), and then you can continue in the same way with other wholesome qualities that may be weak in you until wholesome is natural in all aspects of life. As this develops you will find great and effortless joy in wholesomeness and sila (wisdom based morality that inclines toward non-harm and harmony).

Meditation Instructions 1: Loved One.

Loving Kindness (Metta) is an unconditional feeling of love and kindness towards oneself or another that is free from control, judgement or expectation and offers the gift of friendship & non-harm. To develop a tendency towards loving kindness within your mind, offer loving and kind thoughts towards yourself, then a loved one, then learn to pervade that loving feeling outwards towards all beings. Once you can easily arouse this loving and kind feeling, embed it within your mind by using it as a meditation object to establish access concentration & jhana until it becomes a natural tendency of your heart & mind.

Note: When developing the feeling of loving kindness intensively it is important to be vigilant to the near enemy of loving in kindness: attraction, particularly when cultivating it on someone that you are naturally be attracted towards.

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• 60 min, 1-2 times daily.

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Step 1: Send loving kindness to yourself.

Sit down comfortably, make a half smile on your face and bring an image to mind of yourself in a happy state of mind. 

Gently repeat:

1. “May I be well ........”
2. “May I be happy........”
3. “May I be peaceful........”

Pausing between each phrase to allow the loving feeling space to grow.

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Step 2: Send loving kindness to a loved one.

Now bring to mind someone you love or respect. Make a half smile on your face, and picture them in a happy state of mind smiling back at you. 

Gently repeat:

1. “(insert their name), may you be well ........”
2. “May you be happy........”
3. “May you be peaceful ........”

Pausing between each phrase to allow the loving feeling space to grow.

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Step 3: Send loving kindness to yourself.

Once you can develop the feeling of loving kindness to your loved one then you can transfer the feeling towards yourself again.

Gently repeat:

1. “May I be well ........”
2. “May I be happy........”
3. “May I be peaceful.......”

Pausing between each phrase to allow the loving feeling space to grow.

If the loving feeling fades, then swap back to your loved one again to re-cultivate the feeling. Apply the feeling to yourself again until you also are a loved one. 

..........

Embedding The Tendency

Step 4: Use the pleasant feeling for access concentration.

Once you are proficient on generating metta-vedana (loving feeling) towards yourself and your loved one, you should now stabilise it so that it can be used as an object for developing samadhi. First do this by learning to fill every cell of your body with the metta-vedana by using slow softening breaths out through your nose. Expand the feeling by opening awareness to your whole body and aligning it with the expansion and deflation of your body as it breathes. Use this natural uncontrolled expansion and deflation as a pump to pervade metta-vedana until your body and mind are filled by this loving feeling. When the feeling of piti arises take one point where the piti is most clear, for metta it may be the strongest metta-vedana feeling around your face or the tip of the nose. Use this to develop and establish access concentration.

Guided Meditation.

• SoundCloud: Guided Meditation.
• Insight Timer App: Guided Meditation.

 ..........

Tips for generating loving feeling.

Using the pause.

In the above instructions notice the ....... after each phrase. This ....... is a pause that creates a space in which you encourage the loving feeling to grow. This can be encouraged by smiling into it with your eyes, just as you do with meditative joy while softening.

I like to let a slow softening breath out through my nose at the end of each phrase. The softening aligned with the loving feeling aids in the feeling to increase.

When repeating the phrases, do so silently to yourself, in no hurry, and really mean the feeling behind them. Smile into them with your eyes when you say them. The key is to say each phrase as if the person is right in front of you, and you want them to know how much you care.

..........

If you have difficulty.

If you have difficulty feeling loving kindness towards yourself, then start by sending loving thoughts towards your loved one first. This will allow you to more easily bring up a loving feeling. Once you can develop the feeling of loving kindness towards your loved one, then transfer that feeling towards an image of yourself. Starting by developing the loving feeling on your loved one, before bringing it to yourself, allows you to transfer the feeling over to yourself. If the loving feeling fades, then simply swap back to your loved one again to re-arouse the feeling of caring. Once strong, reapply the feeling to yourself again until your mind sees you and your loved one as equal.

"Whether they are weak or strong, omitting none, the great or the mighty, medium, short or small. The seen and the unseen, those living near and far away, those born and to-be-born: 'May all beings be at ease'." The Buddha SN 1.8

In this Meditation you take the foundation of loving kindness developed towards yourself & your loved one in the previous training, in order to recondition your relationship towards difficult people within your life. You do this by first generating the loving feeling towards yourself and your loved one before bringing a difficult person to mind while holding the loving feeling. 

This may bring up some resistance causing the loving feeling to fade. You then bring your loved one or yourself to mind, strengthening the feeling before going back to the difficult person. You repeat this formula until yourself, your loved one & your difficult person are perceived as all loved ones.

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• 60 min, 1-2 times daily. Continue until you can generate unconditional loving feeling towards your difficult person and establish access concentration.

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Step 1: Loving kindness to yourself.

Generate loving feeling on the image of yourself until the feeling becomes strong and stable. 

1. “May I be well ........”
2. “May I be happy........”
3. “May I be peaceful........”

Pausing between each phrase to allow the loving feeling space to grow.

..........

Step 2: Loving kindness to your loved one.

Generate this loving feeling to an image of a someone you love until the feeling becomes strong and stable. It can be helpful to imagine you both together, side-by-side, enjoying each other's company.

Gently repeat:

1. “(insert their name), may you be well ........”
2. “May you be happy........”
3. “May you be peaceful ........”

Pausing between each phrase to allow the loving feeling space to grow.

..........

Step 3: Loving kindness to your difficult person.

Transfer the loving feeling generated to the image of a person you have a difficult relationship with. If the loving feeling fades, then swap back to your loved one again to re-cultivate the feeling. Then apply the feeling to the difficult person again until you can generate loving feeling equally between all of you. 

Gently repeat:

1. “(insert their name), may you be well ........”
2. “May you be happy........”
3. “May you be peaceful ........”

Pausing between each phrase to allow the loving feeling space to grow.

..........

Step 4: Use pleasant feeling for access concentration.

Finish each session by developing the metta-vedana as in the previous Meditation Skill and use the metta-vedana (loving feeling) as an object of awareness on which to develop samadhi to access concentration. Keep introducing difficult people until you have no more difficult people in your life (in regard to your aversion towards them).

Guided Meditation

• SoundCloud: Guided Meditation.
• Insight Timer App: Guided Meditation.

"So with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings. Radiating kindness over the entire world: Spreading upwards to the skies, And downwards to the depths; Outwards and unbounded, Freed from hatred and ill-will." The Buddha SN 1.8

In this meditation you use the foundation of loving kindness developed in the two previous trainings, to open your heart to all beings. This is done by first generating the loving feeling towards yourself and those close to you, then gradually widening it to your neighbours, suburb, city, country, world, to the whole universe. In this way, loving kindness is cultivated to be unconditional, and not only focused on those that you can benefit from.

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• 60 min, 1-2 times daily, until you can generate unconditional loving feeling towards all beings.

.............................................

Step 1: Loving kindness to yourself.

Generate loving feeling on the image of yourself until the feeling becomes strong and stable. 

1. “May I be well ........”
2. “May I be happy........”
3. “May I be peaceful........”

Pausing between each phrase to allow the loving feeling space to grow.

..........

Step 2: Loving kindness to your Loved One.

Generate this loving feeling to an image of a someone you love until the feeling becomes strong and stable. It can be helpful to imagine you both together, side-by-side, enjoying each other's company.

Gently repeat:

1. “(insert their name), may you be well ........”
2. “May you be happy........”
3. “May you be peaceful ........”

Pausing between each phrase to allow the loving feeling space to grow.

..........

Step 3: Pervade loving kindness to fill every cell of your body.

Fill every cell of your body with the metta-vedana by using slow softening breaths out through your nose.

Expand the feeling by opening awareness to your whole body and aligning it with the expansion and deflation of your body as it breathes.

Use this natural uncontrolled expansion and deflation as a pump to pervade metta-vedana until your body and mind are filled by this loving feeling.

..........

Step 4: Pervade loving kindness to expand to the whole room.

Expand loving feeling into the room around you. Picture the loving feeling flowing into the room around you with each out-breath, completely filling it.

..........

Step 5: Pervade loving kindness to expand to the world around you.

Picture loving feeling flowing out the windows, over the suburb around you. North, south, east, west flowing outwards in all directions like a warm blanket that covers and protects the whole world.

Gently repeat:

1. “May all beings well ........”
2. “May they be happy........”
3. “May they be peaceful ........”

Pausing between each phrase to allow the loving feeling space to grow.

Guided Meditations.

• SoundCloud: Guided Meditation.
• Insight Timer App: Guided Meditation.

Once you are proficient on generating metta-vedana (pleasant loving feeling) towards all beings, you now stabilise it so that it can be used as an object for developing jhana.

Step 1: Fill every cell of your body with metta-vedana.

• First do this by learning to fill every cell of your body with the metta-vedana by using slow softening breaths out through your nose.

Step 2: Expand the metta-vedana feeling with breathing.

• Expand the feeling by opening awareness to your whole body and aligning it with the expansion and deflation of your body as it breathes.

Step 3: Fill your body & mind with metta-vedana to develop piti-sukha.

• Use this natural uncontrolled expansion and deflation as a pump to pervade metta-vedana until your whole awareness is filled by this loving feeling.

Step 4: Develop access concentration on the piti-sukha.

• Develop access concentration on the experience of metta-vedana piti-sukha as would develop it during Meditation Skill 11 of mindfulness of breathing.

Step 5: Develop the First Pleasure Jhana on metta-vedana piti-sukha.

• When the feeling of piti arises take one point where the piti is most clear, for metta it may be the strongest metta-vedana feeling around your face, chest or hearts centre, It may also be in your hands, legs or breathing. Whereever the pleasurable feeling of piti is most clear to you is ok. The important part is to have a clear perception of the metta-vedana piti-sukha. 
• Use this to develop and establish first First Pleasure jhana using the pleasurable piti feeling of the metta-vedana as your meditation object (metta-vedana because it has a particular flavour that comes from the colouring of metta). 
• Develop the next three Pleasure Jhana up to Fourth Pleasure Jhana and equanimity. Full jhana instructions found here: Cutlivate Skill in Jhana

Further Instruction: 

Repeat developing jhana using metta as a foundation until the tendency of metta becomes natural in your mind throughout the day. You can than follow the same process for Karuna: Compassion and Mudita: Sympathetic Joy, as you did with metta, until these Kusala (wholesome/skillful) qualties also become the natural expression of your mind in daily life.